Wednesday, July 17, 2013

5 Things to Know for Your 32nd Birthday

After a horrific night trying to calm an inexplicably hysterical Lucy for several hours (I will not get into the specifics now.  It was so bad I may not get into the specifics ever, unless I need to use this as emotional collateral one day in family therapy), I thought that both Don and I would be sleeping in every available second this morning.  Especially because it is a certain someone’s 32nd Birthday, and I had very vague plans to ruin our “My Body is a Temple” week of healthy eating with cinnamon rolls and bacon for a birthday breakfast.  However, we were both up with the birds and the sun at 6am, Don for a run and me for a cup of coffee. 

While browsing the web with my cup of joe (ok, mostly it’s a cup of natural vanilla creamer, lets be honest) I came across an entirely ridiculous daily blog on CNN called 5 Things to Know for Your New Day.  This, apparently, is a daily feature updated at 6am designed to “clue in” busy morning commuters and news junkies to the top five stories trending (at 6am) along with some other “buzzy items.”

There were no surprises on today’s list of super important YOU MUST KNOW THIS news items: more analysis and commentary on the same information of the George Zimmerman acquittal, more analysis and commentary on the death of Corey Monteith, more gossip and speculation on the birth of the Royal Baby, a story on weapons being shipped to North Korea by Cuba, and a story on beating the summer heat wave.  Nothing ground breaking, nothing new, nothing really positive.

It’s craptastic.  Especially given that today IS a special day.  It is my love’s 32nd Birthday, and that makes it a day deserving of far better analysis, commentary, speculation and fluff than CNN has managed to throw at us today.  So I decided to write my own list of news, some real news stories and some of a more domestic variety, and offer it up to you all today, as a tribute to the love of my life.

Here you are, Donny, your very own 5 Things to Know for Your 32nd Birthday:

  1. Our friends at always have their ears to the ground for news, and offer their readers action items in order to make a difference in the stories they read.  Today, on your most excellent birthday, they have some real reporting gems!  Here are my favorites:

  1. This day in history!  Although surely the most auspicious of events, July 17th is not only known as your birthday, my love.  Many other events occurred and many other people were born and died on this day, both famous and infamous.  Here are  a few fun facts, courtesy of
    • 1762 – Catherine II becomes the Tsarina of Russia.  Weird things ensue.
    • 1861 – Congress authorizes paper money!
    • 1890 – Cecil Rhodes becomes premier of Cape Colony.  He later travels north.  Rhodesia happens.  A whole lot of shit ensues.
    • 1934 – Babe Ruth draws his 2,000th base on balls at Cleveland!
    • 1952 – David Hasselhoff is born!
    • 1955 – Disneyland opened its doors in “rural” Orange County, CA.  Happiness ensues.
    • 1981 – YOU are born!  Also, Humbar Estuary Bridge, UK, world's longest span (1.4 km), opens; 1981 - Israeli bombers destroy PLO/al-Fatah headquarters in Beirut; 1981 - Lobby Walkways at KC's Hyatt Regency collapse 114 die, 200 injured; 1981 - USSR performs nuclear Test at Eastern Kazakh/Semipalitinsk USSR;  and, Fulton County (Atlanta) grand jury indicts Wayne B William 23 year old photographers, for murder of 2 of 28 blacks killed in Atlanta
    • 1998 – Russia buries Tsar Nicolas II and his family 80 years after they were murdered.  Weird.

  1. Great news!  You know how you have been considering joining Twitter so that you can follow news sources and get instant updates on important topics of our times?  Well here is the final incentive: Pope Francis Offers Indulgences to Twitter Followers!  Now, in addition to keeping up with world news and education reform and the Chicago Cubs, you can also reduce your time in purgatory while helping the Church find its way to modern times.

  1. In the world of science, an exciting announcement was made today by paleontologists digging in the Utah desert.  They have described a new species of dinosaur found there, the Nasutoceratops titusi, a member of the triceratops family with an even bigger nose!  The name actually means big-nosed horn-face.  Descriptive, if not original.

  1. Lucy took a nap!  After almost a week of hellish evenings due to over-exhaustion, our daughter finally listened to her body’s dire warnings and fell asleep at nap time.  She did not play Kit Kittridge for an hour, rearrange her bedroom furniture, sneak into the bathroom to make maps out of toilet paper rolls, or put on all the dresses in her closet at the same time.  She slept for two hours.  And awake pleasant and excited to take you dinner at work.  Hallelujah!

  1. BONUS: Your favorite movie, Die Hard, was released 25 years ago this week!  Although the franchise has gone downhill slightly in the character development and dialogue departments (explosions and random killings are still high caliber) with the latest installment that we saw a few days ago, the bar remains high on this most excellent of movie series.  You can amuse yourself with this quiz to test your knowledge of the films offered by our very internationally minded friends at the Guardian.
P.S. Don’t be intimidated by the fact that I scored a 19 out of 20 – it’s a testament to my love of you that I have watched them so many times in the last 9 years!

Happy Birthday my love!  It has been my honor and pleasure to know you these last 11 years or so of your life, and I look forward to the next 80 plus years together.


  1. You forgot Donald Sutherland and Cabrera.

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