Wednesday, August 25, 2021

Why Is There Something Touching Me

Questions I am asking myself after four nights of sleeping with my daughters since D is out of town:


Note: it was a child AND
10 stuffed animals
1. Is that a child in my bed or did one of them just but 10 extra pillows in it?

2.  Is that a child in my bed or did one of them just put 10 stuffed animals in it?

3. Can she breathe totally covered by the sheets like that?

4. Is she still in the bed or has she wormed down to the foot and out of it onto the floor?

5. How did her feet get under my armpit?

6. Wait, how did her head now get under my armpit?

7. Can she breathe facedown under my armpit like that?

8.  Am I having a heart attack or just adrenaline rush from her sitting straight up and screaming "NOOOOO!!!!"

9.  Is she literally going to throw up on my in my own bed?

So adorable, so disruptive
to sleep cycles.

10. How can that many parts of her body be touching me right now?

11.  How can she have gotten even closer to me when there is physically no more space left between us?

12.  Why do I get fed to wolves in so many of my daughter's dreams?

13.  When do I get to sleep?

14. WHAT IS TOUCHING MY FACE?!?