Saturday, April 7, 2012

Get Thee Behind Me Satan Eggs

I don’t know why I am calling it this.  Perhaps because yesterday was Good Friday and tomorrow is Easter Sunday, and I am ready to put the fasting and preparation of the Lenten season behind me and celebrate the resurrection and sing the Gloria again. 

Perhaps it was because I made these deviled eggs because we were all dying eggs for Easter, and before I knew what was happening Lucy crack-smashed five of them and I had to take a few seconds to purge the satany anger from my soul, which was inappropriate considering we were just dyeing eggs, and who cares if she cracks them because they are hard boiled, and she is just experimenting with sounds and textures so that is a good learning experience, and I should not have shouted “no no NO NO Lucy NOOOO!  GENTLE!”

Two seconds later she smashed this egg into oblivion.
Perhaps because I made these eggs with a touch too much wasabi which is just enough to clear out your sinuses and make you want to shout “Whoooo!” but then you realize you are in polite company, and so you just close your mouth and let your eyes water politely instead.  Except I was in my own kitchen with my husband and my two year old daughter, so I did shout “Whooo!” and so did they.  And then we did a little dance.

Let these wasabi eggs burn out your anger, lead you through the valley of Lenten sacrifice, and into the joyful toddler dance of the resurrection.

·        10 hard boiled eggs
·        4 tablespoons wasabi mayonnaise (I just used the awesome wasabi mayo they sell at Trader Joe’s.  If you do not have that, just add 4 tablespoons of regular Mayo to the recipe, and add in your desired amount of dried wasabi powder or prepared wasabi.  Or some horseradish should do the trick too.)
·        ¼ cup of Mayonnaise
·        3 tablespoons of toasted sesame seeds (If you bought them un-toasted, just toast them up in a pan on the stove for a few minutes until golden brown.  Seriously, the toasting makes a huge difference.  If you are super fancy you can use black sesame seeds, but I prefer the flavor of toasted white sesame seeds.)

A note on hard boiling eggs: this is one of those ridiculously easy things to do in the kitchen that I almost always screw up.  I am not kidding at all when I say that yesterday, I poured out three pots of hot water because I could not get it through my savage, little mind that you start the eggs in cold water, not boiling water.  Cold.  Water.  So if you want a tip on how to do this, I have no tips to give, but this is what I did and the eggs came out perfect except for the two that were broken when I unceremoniously dumped them all into the pot:
·        Put eggs into pot, very gently.  Cover with cold water so there is at least 2 inches above the eggs.  Add splash of vinegar and some salt.  This is supposed to keep them from breaking, cracking, leaking, and will also make you smarter when you eat them.
·        Put pan on stove, put heat on high, boil water.
·        When water is at a full boil, let boil for one minute, or just turn off immediately because it has taken you a minute to notice they were boiling.
·        Let eggs sit for 15 minutes if you have a whole batch of 12-18, or 12 minutes if you have fewer.
·        Prepare a large bowl of ice in the sink.
·        Do not panic if you did not turn off the stove at all, but instead put it on low for 15 minutes, because its really hard to overcook an egg so that it is inedible.  Just don’t panic.
·        Drain the water from the pan and put the eggs into the ice.  Cover with cold water.  Stir around and let them cool.
·        Test one of the eggs while it is still warm with some salt and pepper.  Just because warm hard boiled eggs are an overlooked pleasure in our society.  Everyone is always waiting for them to cool to devil them or salad them or dye them.  Take a second to enjoy one warm!
·        Let them cool for a few hours at least in the fridge, overnight if you can.  This will help them to peel better, and will keep you from throwing completely destroyed hard boiled eggs at the kitchen window as you peel half an inch of egg white off them.

Take your cooled eggs, and peel them.  Try not to get angry and kill them.  Breathe deeply.  Run cold water over them.  Pierce the membrane.  Place them on a paper towel to dry.

Cut each egg in half, and pop the yolk out into a bowl.  Place the whites whole side up on a plate of your choosing.  Aren’t you fancy if you have one of those fancy deviled egg platters with the little egg indents in it!?

Add wasabi mayo, mayo and half of the sesame seeds to the bowl with the yolks.  Mash, whip and stir away until it forms a smooth consistency.  Then try it.  If it’s too bland add more wasabi, or salt and pepper.  If it’s too dry add a touch more mayo.  If its too wet or too spicy…then pray you have more eggs and add more egg white or perhaps some bread crumbs to smooth it out.

If you want to get fancy about this next part, then take a spatula and scrape the yolk mixture into a ziplock baggie, zip the top and cut a small snip off of the bottom.  You can then pipe the filling back into the whites and make pleasing little swirls and whorls and such.  Or you can do what I did, and use two spoons to very messily slop the filling back into the whites and then give the bowl to your husband to lick out and laugh when he hits the smear of pure wasabi that you left on the side of the bowl and starts to cry.

Sprinkle the remaining sesame seeds over the eggs.

Eat them all in five minutes while sipping the bloody mary your husband made you to get you through the Easter egg dyeing process and to celebrate the fact that he has a day off and that you are spending it together.

Note: I really don’t drink that often and I don’t need to drink in order to survive craft time with Lucy.  Just in case you were worried.  Also I have no pictures of these because we ate them all immediately.  But here is a picture of the bloody mary in case you wondered.  We bought those garlic dill pickles from an old lady at the Farmer's Market this morning.  Aren't we neat?

1 comment:

  1. Interesting technique. I have never heard about starting off with cold water. I got this nifty little gadget from amazon about a year ago and it has changed my life. Best $5 I have spent in awhile. It goes in the water with the eggs and has an indicator letting you know if they are easy, medium, or hard boiled. Now we get perfect eggs every time.